Tuesday, July 3, 2012

8. Cover your walls with crap

David Bowie; my guardian angel. 
If I know anything, it is how to collage your walls. I love it. When ever I am super bored and lonely, I look through those random boxes in my closet that are filled with photos, letters and pieces of art (you know what I am talking about) and find wonderful things to tape above my bed. However, I do warn you, this can make your room look kind of crazy and very cluttered, but I am guessing that since you are a teenage girl like me, you could care less.

I spy with my little eye Jordan Catalano
When searching for these items make sure you only tape things on your walls that represent you. Trust me, whoever walks in your room will intently look at the things on your walls  AND JUDGE YOU. But ultimately, you should pick things out that YOU LIKE. AND THAT MAKE YOU HAPPY. 

Here are somethings that you might want to look for when you are re-decorating your walls:
-photos of your friends and family (especially pets...the majority of pictures on my wall are of my dog.)
The Bee Gees. JUDGE ME.
-posters of your idols. I recommend putting these above your bed so that they can act as your guardian angel. (i.e. David Bowie)
-magazine clippings of your favorite people, animals, or food.
-stickers! Lots and lots of stickers! I got some butterfly stickers from Ikea and plastered them all over my room.
-If you have a record collection, then look through all of the sleeves and see if there are posters inside. That is where I found my Bee Gees poster, Jim Morrison poster, Joan Jett poster, and one of my Bowie posters!

Here are some things that you might want to avoid:
-Cardboard cut outs. PLEASE DON'T GO OUT AND BUY A CARDBOARD CUT OUT. For one, they are like 40 bucks for a piece of cardboard that probably cost a dollar to make, plus, they are extremely terrifying when you walk into your room (after watching a horror movie) and you see the silhouette of Justin Bieber or Johnny Depp. Just trust me. You will regret it.
-Wrappers...believe it or not, I have walked into people's bedrooms and seen that they have taped candy wrappers on their walls. This sounds like a cool idea and all, but it is rare that this actually looks good. Don't take any chances please. Wrappers are meant for the garbage.

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

7. Dress in every decade

I am so out of breath, I can't even tell you. You are probably asking "Audrey, why are you out of breath?" and I am about to answer that  for you all.

The reason that I am so out of breath is because I just tore through my wardrobe to find and outfit for every era. It was so much fun and extremely exhausting. You should totally try it! It is both a work out and can keep you busy for a couple of hours!

Here are some things to keep in mind when you are picking out your outfits.

The 1940s- The toughest one. When dressing in the 40s it is important to be wearing a dress. Try to find one that is about knee length and has a high neck line. Color does not really matter, but while researching fashion back in the 1940s I learned that  dark purples and blues were often popular. As far as hair and make up, try to find a cute wool hat to match your dress and some dark purple or brown lipstick. Then top it off with a pair of classy heels! 

The nifty fifties- My favorite! For a authentic 1950s look, try and find dress similar to the one you used in your forties look, but make it more colorful! If you did not find the perfect dress (like me), pair a below the knee a-line skirt with a cute sweater and you are set. For the hair, there are plenty of options. You could try a beehive, or if you want to waste some time then you can curl it. If you are feeling lazy like I was, then just put your hair in a high pony tale. For make up, you could go with out wearing any. But if you want you can put on some red lipstick. When your all done, but on some Keds or some vintage saddle shoes & a pair of cat eye glasses and   you are ready to roll!

The nineteen sixties!- Ah, this one is lots of fun! First you must find a dress/romper with a bold pattern. Make sure that it short and has a lot of vibrant colors. Then, find a pair of platform heels to top off the outfit and make your legs look a million miles long. Finally, back comb your hair (and maybe put on a headband) and smother your eye lids in liquid eye liner and false lashes and you are all set!

70s! 70s! 70s!- For a 1970s groovy look you want to find vibrant colors that come in the form of a dress, flow-y shirt, scarf, or bell bottoms. Try not to use big prints, but instead small paisley or floral patterns. For your hair, part it down the middle and wrap a scarf around your head. Wear no make up and no shoes!

 It's time for the 80s- (Caution dressing up like you are from the the 1980s can easily make you look like you're wearing a trashy Halloween costume.) For a non-trashy eighties look, try and find something hat was actually made IN THE EIGHTIES. This is important. Shoulder pads are a must, and also lots and lots of funky colors. If you are feeling festive, then put on tons of colorful make up and cover your arms in jelly bracelets. If you are like me, and the 1980s is your least favorite decade then go for something more simple like a semi-funky dress and a jean vest or jacket. I did no own any good shoes for this outfit, but it is very 80s to wear two different colored high tops. As for hair, put it into a side pony tail and you are golden.

The grungy 90s- Here is a simple rule for a authentic 90s look; don't try. Start out with finding a plaid base piece, (this can be a dress, a flannel shirt, a skirt, etc). Then throw on a big denim or army jacket and some combat boots (leave them un-tied). Don't wear any make up and don't was your hair!

Congratulations, you have just completed the challenge of dressing through the decades.

6. Obsess over Joan Jett

Me obsessing over my Joan Jett records
Like I have mentioned previously, I am pretty much in love with Joan Jett. 2 years ago, (during my freshman year in high school) I legitimately thought that I was Joan Jett. I had the hair cut, I had the leather jackets, I even bought a few small t shirts from the 70s and a couple of pairs of bell bottoms. Every morning I put on dark eye makeup and heavy blush then went off to school. The problem was that although I looked like her on the outside, I did not have the "tough persona" that she has. You see, I have pretty much always been a very nice and gentle person and so in the end I was "giving a damn about my good reputation".I did indeed try to break my warm hearted shell by punching this guy in the face. And lets just say it did not go as planned... I was in Language Arts class and this kid, who shall not be named, was being kind of rude to my friend, so I thought "what a perfect time to look tough and punch someone in the face". Before I did it, I warned him that if he did not stop, I would punch him. But he did not. So BAM. I punched him in the most awkward spot like right in between his eyebrow and his eye. At first he looked at me with a confused look in his eye, then he said "What the heck? I was just kidding...That actually really hurt." I felt so guilty, I can't even explain. I was expecting him to punch me back or yell at me or something! But instead he just looked sad and ignored me. This story really has no lesson because nothing changed after that. I still went home into my bedroom and blasted my Joan Jett records. I think that Joan Jett's albums are the perfect thing to listen to when you are a lonely and angsty teenage girl because her voice and lyrics bring out the power within you and make you want to do things that you never thought you would do.

So go grab your Joan Jett records/tapes/CDs/or illegally downloaded albums and blast them as loud as possible. 

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

5. Turn your dad's denim jacket into a denim vest

My vest
Let's face it, all dads used to look like Uncle Jesse

I'm not sure about you, but I think that a denim vest is one of the essentials when it comes to clothing. They go with everything! I personally wear mine all the time with a floral dress, black tights and my Doc Martens. Or you could wear them over a sweatshirt, or maybe even with a poofy tutu-like dress/skirt and be like Madonna! I promise, creating a jean vest will not only keep you entertained for awhile but it will come in handy the next time you need to add some flavor to your outfit.

1.The first thing that you must do is ask your mom or dad if they have an old jean jacket hanging around the house.
-If they say yes, then ask them if they mind you cutting off the sleeves. If they say no to that then do it anyways (just kidding).
-If they say no, then ask them to drive you to Good Will or Value Village pronto. 
2.Once you have persuaded your parents to give/buy you a jacket, then cut off the sleeves. When you are cutting off the sleeves try to cut right where it is stitched so that it won't fray too much.
3.Look around your room for pins and patched of your favorite bands. If you don't have any, then take some from your siblings or parents. If they catch you then you can go on Ebay or Etsy and order some. They usually don't cost more than $3.00 each.
4. Now put it on and look in the mirror to see how bad ass you look.

4. Draw on a fake mole!

Today while I was getting ready to go out to dinner with my dad for his birthday, I realized that I had a pimple right above my mouth. As I looked at it for a moment, I realized that it was in the spot where a beauty mark would be. So being me, I grabbed my dark brown eyeliner and turned my zit into a mole. And now I look super classy, and I feel like a movie star.
They say that Marilyn Monroe's mole was fake, and I think I know why she chose to draw on a mole everyday! Because it boosts your confidence level up! I swear, ever since I drew on this mole I have a certain glow. So whether, you put a mole on your cheek, your chin, your upper lip or even your nose, it will make you look and feel so much happier!
 My mole and I (the fake fur and cat eye glasses were necessary. I swear.)

3. Read through all the journals that you have kept throughout the years

Front/back of my journal that I kept when I was 5 years old...as you can tell I had a thing for Spongebob and trashy glittery stickers.

Sometimes when I am feeling nostalgic, which is usually all the time, I whip out all of the journals that I have kept through out the years and read them. I wish that I had been better at keeping a diary when I was younger because now that I look through them I notice that there are a lot of empty pages and scribbles that I called art. I guess that I always liked the idea of writing in a notebook every night, but I never made it a habit. However, I did write in it every once in a while and I thank goodness for that. 
Reading through your thoughts when your were 5, 6, 7, or whatever is a really fun thing to do every few years. My advice to you, bored teenage girl, is to walk over to your book shelf right now, go to the bottom shelf, dig up those journals and read them in chronological order to see how you have grown through your years of being alive. And if you want you can turn on some Spice Girls or Michelle Branch to re-live those moments as a elementary schooler. 

2. Pretend to be David Bowie

Okay okay, maybe I am the only person who puts on their Halloween costume, covers their eyebrows with concealer and takes videos of themselves lip syncing to Bowie songs. But I do that because he is my idol. My advice to you, if you are bored is to dress up as your favorite person and pretend to be them. It could be anyone from Marilyn Monroe to one of the Bee Gees. It doesn't matter. Last year I went through a phase of dressing up as Joan Jett every day after school and singing her songs in front of the mirror. It was so much fun! I mean, there is no rule that says you have to wait until Halloween to dress up! So take time for your self and use makeup to contour your facial features and look like your idol. Then dig through your closet and find the perfect outfit! Finally, put on the album that your idol sings or the movie that they are in, etc, and wah lah! You have transformed your self into your favorite supreme being!